G-Day

With my college graduation just over a month away,  I can’t help but have mixed feelings.

Today I would like to share those feelings, not so much in words (though I will use some of those), but with the help of some GIFs.

Part of me can barely contain the excitement

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Let’s face it, college is hard. Even though I chose the easiest major I could possibly think of (English language and linguistics), I am still ready to be done with homework, projects, and tests.

I want to be done with BYU

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As much as I love BYU on principle (mainly for its cheap tuition), spend too much time in the same place and you’re bound to harbor harsh feelings toward it eventually. I feel like it’s time for a change of scenery, even if I am technically still going to live close to BYU (but at least I won’t be a student there!)

My immediate reaction at the thought of being done:

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I know I used this exact GIF last week, but this particular GIF is just too brilliant to be under-used. In fact…

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OK, I’m done.

The point is, I get really excited about the thought of being DONE with school. The idea of just working full-time and then having the rest of the time to myself??? It’s almost too good to be true.

Too bad people rain on my parade by telling me how difficult life can be after college.

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Yet no matter what other people say, I won’t let them ruin my dreams of a peaceful post-college existence.

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But then people ask me what I plan on doing after I graduate, and I’m all…

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That’s when it hits me. I have no idea where my life is headed after this.

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And I realize that picking the easiest major might not have been the best option after all.

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No matter what I try, I will inevitably stumble and fall at one point or another.

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Then people tell me to date more, asking me when I’ll just settle down and get married. To which I only have one reaction.

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Let’s just worry about graduation for now, shall we?

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Single and Proud: A Single Person’s Guide to Being Single

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Mutant and proud? Try single and proud. I wish I could walk through walls, or be a shape-shifter, or eject metallic claws out of my knuckles.

But no, I have to be single instead.

Living in a world where everyone around you is literally getting married and having babies, it is easy to feel like a mutant of sorts while you remain stubbornly single. Like there is something abnormal–maybe even repulsive–about you that keeps others at bay.

This post is for those of you drowning your sorrows in a pint of either ice cream or alcohol (or both).

This is for those of you who feel perpetually alone: Single with a capital S.

This goes out to those of you who can honestly say that this is the story of your life:

This, my friends, is my guide to making the best of being single.

Stay in shape

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Resist the temptation to let yourself go just because you’re not with someone. Regular exercise will increase confidence, reminding you of what people are missing out on by not being with you.

Develop a hobby

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Find something that you enjoy and that will keep you busy during your downtime. Reading might be a good option. Books help you escape to a world where your relationship status doesn’t matter. Find a genre that strikes your fancy. If you have a hard time finding books you like, keep trying. It’s not like you have much else to do anyway! I used to think I didn’t like reading, but then I discovered young adult literature. That’s my preference. What’s yours?

Don’t talk to other people too early in the morning

This should be a given. Early mornings are no time for talking, at least not for single people. Don’t be afraid to treat roommates like they don’t exist early in the morning. If you are not careful, your reaction to everything that everyone says, no matter how pleasant it is, could be this:

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So please, think of the children and keep morning talk to a minimum.

Find outlets for your bitterness

As a single person, you are bound to feel intense bitterness about your lack of a significant other, especially during this time of year. That’s normal. In my opinion, the best option is to channel this bitterness in a healthy way. Avoid passive aggressive Facebook statuses. That won’t get you anywhere and will most likely just solidify your position as a single person. Instead, use your bitterness to develop a cynical, snarky sense of humor. There’s no more room in this world for people who think life is just a bunch of rainbows and lollipops, so don’t feel bad if you falter in your optimism every now and then. Also, don’t be afraid to intrude on couples and ruin their romantic moments. Sit in between a couple that is in danger of turning your living room into a make-out party.

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Call couples out for being ridiculous when they say that they keep picking each other’s Apples to Apples cards because they are so “connected.” Couples have an uncanny knack for making things awkward for single people, so do what you can to turn the tables and make them feel awkward. If worse comes to worst, that couple will not want to get together around you anymore. What a loss that would be.  Not.

Travel the world

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Life is too short to miss out on seeing the world. If you’re single, now is the time to visit the places you’ve always wanted to visit, see the things you’ve always wanted to see. All of that becomes at least two times more complicated the minute you get married and have to help support a family (in that you have to pay for a minimum of two people to travel instead of just one).

Don’t let life get you down

ndoDjX8Life will sometimes kick you in the face, which can be hard to manage on your own. But no matter how hard things get, always force yourself to bounce back and keep on keeping on.

Enjoy your freedom

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Enjoy your lack of familial responsibility while you can. The only one who owns you is you! You answer to NOBODY. You are in charge of your own life and nobody else’s, and that’s something that can be enjoyed for a limited time only. Cherish it!

Comfort and rewards

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This is easily the most important one. If other people aren’t going to give you the treatment you deserve, then take matters into your own hands. When I first started college, I would always buy myself some chocolate milk after taking a test. If I did well on the test, I rewarded myself with chocolate milk. If my test score wasn’t so great, I comforted myself with chocolate milk. Since chocolate milk is basically my version of alcohol, it worked both ways. Always find simple (and preferably cheap) ways to comfort and reward yourself.

Of course, these are just a few tips for staying sane at the loneliest of times. Find a way to accept your single status, maybe even embrace it. That’s not to say you should give up on relationships altogether, but there’s no use in stressing over a situation that you can’t always control. Just remember that people are often the worst, and you are not to blame if you seem to be going unnoticed. But maintain hope that, one of these days, somebody will like you, and you will like them back. It’s a rare phenomenon, but it’s been known to happen. I think.

It’s all easier said than done, I know. I myself have been guilty of falling into the single trap, allowing my lack of a relationship to define my life. I have allowed myself to drown in a sea of bitterness and self-pity, losing hope that I would ever find a special someone. But I invite all you single people to join me in my efforts to make the best of a less-than-desirable situation.

And, just as a side note, I hope that someday even I will find love in a hopeless place: my cold, black heart. It’s what Rihanna would want, after all, and I hate to disappoint her.

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Don’t disappoint Rihanna. Find love in a hopeless place.

Happy single awareness day!