Europe–The Final Chapter: Last Day in the U.K.

Well, the day has finally come for me to write about my Europe study abroad for the last time.

Today I want to talk (or, to be more literal, write) about my last full day in the United Kingdom, because I feel like it was such a staple in my trip, and it was definitely one of my favorite days in the UK… if not one of my favorite days in life!

It was Sunday, August 4th, 2013. Why that even matters, I do not know. We were in the beautiful city of Edinburgh, Scotland. It was the perfect day… not too hot and not too cold. All you needed was a light jacket! There was just the hint of a breeze, and it was cloudy but not rainy, which was pretty much a miracle seeing as we were in Scotland. To sum up, it was perfect kite-flying weather. Not that people fly kites anymore. Do they? Maybe I should say it was perfect hiking weather, because that’s what we ended up doing that day.  It was our last full day in the United Kingdom and we had to make the best of it. For us on that day, “making the best of it” involved hiking an extinct volcano. As one does while in Europe.

Since pictures speak a thousand words, I am going to post some of my favorite pictures from the hike of Arthur’s Seat, the extinct volcano that gave us glorious views of Edinburgh:

After the hike, we went down to a small man-made loch at the base of Arthur’s Seat. We had missed out on going to the Loch Ness (which I won’t get into because that is a whole different tragic, violent story… OK so it wasn’t really violent, but I’d rather just forget about it), so this was the next best thing. Here, a skilled photographer (who had also taken some now-infamous fake engagement pictures for me) captured a photo that I feel embodies just how fun this trip ended up being:

Doesn’t this look like the most fun study abroad group in the history of the world??!!!

By the time we were done hiking and loching (it’s a new word, look it up… but not really because I just made it up), the night was approaching, so it was nearly time for us to retire to the hostel. But first, a few of my classmates and I had to eat at a pub for the last time. Because the last day in Europe would not be complete without some good, cheap food.

That night, we said goodbye in a bit of an eccentric way. I gathered my good friends Jacob, Nicole, Katie, Kyra, Stephanie, and Becca to do a group huddle and sing/sway to The Graduation Song. For those of you who don’t know the song, here is the chorus:

For some reason, some of our party thought I was ridiculous for suggesting such a thing. Eyes were rolled, complaints were muttered, and people were called weird. But I laughed so hard that I cried. And in the end, don’t the best moments end in tears? Wait a minute… I might have to rethink that idea.

To top off the night, my beloved study abroad roommate (and the only other guy in the group) Jacob and I talked late into the night. There is just something about the bond between study abroad roommates that cannot quite be matched by anything else. We enjoyed our late-night talks in Europe, and this last one was no different. It was the perfect way to conclude my final day in the UK!

I will never forget that last day on the British Isles. It’s crazy to believe that it has already been a month and a half since I got back from Europe. My life has been changed for the better because I decided to go on that study abroad. I made some of my closest friends and also created some of my favorite memories. But most of all, I freaking got to go to Europe!

And on that dignified note, I will conclude my musings about my study abroad once and for all. Thanks for reading!

Europe–Chapter 3: A Tale of Two Cities

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

OK, maybe only the best of times.

For this chapter of my Europe-themed blog posts, I will be focusing on the two most famous cities that I visited during my trip: London and Paris. Mostly London, because I spent three weeks in London and just two days in Paris.

I considered writing multiple blog posts about London and a completely separate post about Paris, but with school starting and whatnot I realized that, if I were to keep blogging at that rate, I would still be blogging about Europe in February of 2017! I cannot allow myself to dwell so much in the past, and if I think too much about my study abroad, I fear I will fall to the ground and start twitching out of utter despair because of how much I miss it. Or maybe I’m just being a tad bit over-dramatic. As I tend to be.

So here goes. I will avoid focusing so much on the sights that I saw while in London and Paris. Instead I will focus on what made my trip to those cities unique. In doing so I hope to emphasize the fact that everyone can have a truly unique and wonderful experience while traveling. No two experiences are the same!

So here are some of my favorite memories from London and Paris:

4th of July, London Style

We brought in the wonderful all-American holiday in a bit of a non-traditional way. Even though we ended up traveling to London on the 4th of July (kind of ironic, if you think about it), we still managed to find time to gather as a group and celebrate being American. A-MUR-ica! We played games, ate marshmallows and hot dogs, and just enjoyed each other’s company. And though I got along quite well with the others before getting to London, I feel that it was in London that close friendships began to form between me and my fellow study abroad students. I remember after the 4th of July party, sitting outside of the apartment complex like unto a HOOLIGAN and talking to some of my new friends until the late hours of the night! It was one of many late-night conversations.

The London Temple

We had the opportunity one day to visit the London Temple. It was nice going into the temple and also exploring the temple grounds. We got some nice pictures that showed off just how attractive we all are!

Platform 9 and 3/4

A trip to London would of course not be complete without a journey to Platform 9 and 3/4! I went with three other people in my group, and since there were four of us we each got to represent a different Hogwarts house! The decision was unanimous for me to represent Slytherin, since apparently I’m the most evil one in the group… even though I have told everyone on many occasions that I am not as evil as I make myself out to be! Though I have to admit, this picture of me looking suspicious as my green scarf billows in the wind–well, let’s just say, it’s a good representation of my personality. Maybe I really am evil. Oh well!

The Old Hide-and-Scare Tactic

One night some of us decided to do a ghost tour of London. For obvious reasons, many of us were put slightly on edge after hearing about the different supernatural phenomena that supposedly take place around London, including the statue in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral that, as legend tells it, dismounts its plinth every August 1st at midnight, runs around in a circle, and then resumes its position as a statue. Creepy! As we were heading back to the tube station that night, two of the girls in my group were lagging behind a bit, so the other three of us decided that it would be funny if we hid from the rest of our party so we could scare them. We found the perfect hiding spot that allowed us to remain in hiding while we could still see the two girls coming. As they walked by, the three of us yelled and ran out from our hiding spots. The two girls screamed bloody murder, and I’m pretty sure they each almost had a heart attack. Not surprisingly, they did not speak to us for the rest of the night as an effort to punish us.

Sunset in Hyde Park

At a loss for what to do one evening, Jacob (the only other boy in the group) and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Hyde Park. While we were there, we witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen, a sunset that rivaled even the desert sunsets of Arizona and the tropical sunsets of the Philippines. As a sucker for nice sunsets, I was pleasantly surprised.

The London Night Tour

Three of my classmates and I took a tour of London by night on a double-decker tour bus. We basically saw all the same things we had seen by daylight, but it was a different experience seeing everything at night. Though it was difficult getting pictures as we sped through the streets of London, I managed to get this rare shot of the London Eye and Big Ben in the same line of vision.

The London Theatre

While in London I had the opportunity to see not one, not two, but three musicals: The Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, and Once. We also got to see a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Shakespeare’s Globe Theater.

The Eiffel Tower

One weekend some of us took a side-trip to Paris. It was a scandal-and-a-half because I was the only boy there! Without a doubt, my favorite part of the trip was going to the Eiffel Tower. We not only climbed the steps of the Eiffel Tower but also took the time to watch the Tower light up at night. Nothing can really describe the surreal feeling that overcame me as I took a picture of the Eiffel Tower’s shadow while standing in the tower itself. And while we sat at a nearby fountain and watched the Tower light up, we experienced a few unexpected slips and splashes as we navigated the slippery grounds and tried avoiding the jets of water that burst out at random intervals.

Chill-axing by the Louvre

I cannot forget, however, the time we took earlier in the day to rest just outside the Louvre. We found some lounge chairs by a fountain (there seems to be a certain fountain theme in association with Paris, doesn’t there?) and relaxed for a little bit before carrying on with our day. To describe my Paris trip as hectic would be quite an understatement, so it was nice to take some time to rest.

Inside Notre Dame

There were two main landmarks that I wanted to see while in Paris: the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. I saw about 763 cathedrals, minsters, etc. while I was in Europe, but the Notre Dame Cathedral was probably my favorite of all–if not partially because it was the most famous one I saw! And I was glad to not see any hunchbacks or gypsies while I was there. No offense to all my readers who are hunchbacks or gypsies, I’m just not a fan of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Sorry.

Exploring the Streets of London

During my last Saturday in London, I found myself alone as half of my group had gone to Stratford (I didn’t go because I was weary of both traveling and spending money), others wanted to go shopping (which is basically my version of hell, so no thanks), and the rest were going to spend some time packing (I repeat: my version of hell, no thanks). So I took some time to explore the streets of London on my own. I started by taking the Underground to Elephant & Castle, just to see what I could find in such a strangely named place. I was slightly disappointed that I found neither elephants nor castles, but the day was not a waste: I ended up wandering until I got to the Thames, then I saw a number of interesting characters and sights on the South Bank. I saw graffiti art that inspired me to action as well as a man dressed as a cat–basically, things you don’t see every day! It ended up being one of my favorite days in London because I got a deeper look into just how much character the city has.  It was at this time that I realized how much I had grown to love London and how at-home I felt there.

An (Almost) All-Nighter in London

As our time in London came to an end, we all experienced mixed feelings. Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I for one was excited to be visiting new places (mainly Scotland) but also sad to be leaving London, which had really become like home for me. So we decided to make the most of our last night in London by enjoying each other’s presence. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s only going to get cheesier, so you might as well get used to it. We gathered in one of the girls’ flats and undoubtedly pigged out on food (probably chocolate, as was tradition) before playing a game of truth or dare, which actually just turned out to be a game of truth: basically, it was an excuse to get to know each other on a deeper level than we already had. We then each took turns saying what we liked about everyone else in the group. By the time we were done with these heartfelt shenanigans, it was somewhere around two in the morning, so Jacob and I went back to our flat. This would have probably been an ideal time to sleep, but instead Jacob and I spent almost three more hours talking. By the time we finally called it a night, it was almost 5:00 A.M. And we had to wake up early to catch a train to York. Needless to say, we were exhausted over the next few days. But it was worth it!

Europe–Chapter 2: A Whale of a Time

Today I will be writing about Wales, the second leg of my unforgettable six-week adventure in Europe.

We left Dublin early in the morning in order to catch the ferry that would take us to Wales. I mentioned to one of the girls in my group that at some point I would have to get on top of the ferry in order to take some pictures of Wales. She gave me a confused look and asked, “Do you honestly think we’re going to see whales?!” I explained to her that I was referring to the place, not the sea animal. Eventually, after becoming better friends with her, I made fun of her endlessly for the misunderstanding. But it was an honest mistake. English can be quite confusing!

I must admit that I wasn’t all that excited to see whales… I mean Wales. Don’t get me wrong: it wasn’t like I was dreading it or anything. But I had never heard much of anything about Wales, so I wasn’t expecting much from it.

Little did I know that Wales would end up being one of my favorite locations of the trip! It may have lacked the grandeur of London or the majestic views of Scotland, but the simple beauty of Wales was something that, in my opinion, could not be matched by any of the other places we visited.

In fact, Wales turned out to be quite the pleasant surprise! Here are just some of the “surprises” that turned Wales into an unexpected gem:

The longest place-name in the world: Llanfair­pwllgwyn­gyllgo­gerychwyrn­drobwll­llanty­silio­gogogoch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My favorite castle: Conwy Castle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Llandudno: The seaside town with the awesome views… a place where everyone was so delightfully friendly… and the location of my future home!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The evil Alice statue that would forever distort my vision of Alice in Wonderland.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snowdonia!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tintern Abbey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

St. Fagans: the traditional Welsh village.

Europe–Chapter 1: The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side (of the Ocean)

The first stop of my summer study abroad trip was Ireland, home of the fifty shades of green (not to be confused with the trashy novels, Fifty Shades of Grey). Prior to my trip, I had heard many rumors about the Land of Ire, some of which included:

1. It rains constantly, but it’s a different kind of rain–a magical mist of sorts that covers the Irish grounds and really makes the green countryside sparkle.
2. Ireland is just swarming with gingers.

Only neither of those rumors turned out to be true–at least, not during my trip. I suppose it really does rain a lot in Ireland, as was evident in the blinding green scenery that stretched as far as the eye could see. But it certainly didn’t rain much while I was there. No complaints, though… too much rain depresses me.

Also, I do not remember seeing an overwhelming amount of gingers. Then again, I’m not very observant. For all I know, I could be a ginger and I just haven’t noticed!

The point of all this is that you often have preconceived notions of a place, but once you travel there, you find that the place is completely different from what you imagined. The same can be said, I suppose, of people… we develop these snap judgments of people, only to have those judgments proven completely wrong after taking the effort to actually get to know a person.

Ireland, as well as the United Kingdom, was nothing like I imagined… it was much better! My brain did not do it justice! Though I would not say Ireland was my favorite stop of the trip, it definitely was a great first stop. It was a pleasant introduction to Europe.

The people I was traveling with ended up being a pleasant surprise as well. Throw a group of college-aged strangers into Ireland, and what do you get? A little awkwardness at first, sure. But I was surprised how quickly I became comfortable with some of the other students in my group. And we might not have been good friends yet by the time we left Ireland, but we were definitely on our way.

“Are we friends yet…?”

In Ireland, we saw miles of green pasture that provided a home for more sheep than you could count.

This sheep was clearly posing for a picture.

We visited cliffs with breathtaking views of the ocean.

We met the Three Sisters, a triad of mountain peeks that supposedly represents three women of different ages.

Can you find the Three Sisters in this picture?

We saw castles and abbey ruins.

Some of us kissed the Blarney Stone and gained the gift of gab!

(No picture necessary or available)

And for crying out loud, we stopped in a seaside town named Dingle! The town name kind of speaks for itself.

Dingle!

Of course, a trip to Ireland would not have been complete without going to a pub. Since none of us drank alcohol, we did cheers with glasses of water. And pub food was definitely something to write home about (and I think I did a couple of times). Speaking of pub food, I had the opportunity in Ireland to try something new… black and white pudding. If you don’t know what’s in black and white pudding, you probably don’t want to know. I actually didn’t mind the white pudding. I would not, however, recommend the black pudding. I’m not being racist or anything; it’s just a matter of personal taste.

A traditional Irish breakfast… complete with black and white pudding!

Our last stop in Ireland was the great city of Dublin. Here I slept on the top of a bunk bed… nothing unusual, only in our particular hostel I happened to be sleeping on a bed that had no rail and was right next to a large window. If I had rolled a bit too far to my left, I surely would have plummeted to my death! Oh well… what’s life without a little risk, right?

The hostel window of death in Dublin.

I also found out here that it is often when you wander aimlessly while traveling abroad (or even stateside for that matter) that you make some of the coolest discoveries. (This would later prove valuable in enhancing my London experience). Here’s a photo of something we ran across while trying to find our hostel:

What the giant-hand statue?!

All in all, Ireland was a great experience. Looking back, it’s almost a shame that this had to be the place where we overcame our jet lag and dealt with the awkwardness of not really knowing each other. Perhaps under different circumstances I could have enjoyed Ireland even more. On the other hand, we had to start somewhere.

And I can’t think of a better place to start a six-week European adventure than in Ireland!

Next stop: Wales!

Europe: A Prologue of Sorts

Hello world!

A week ago yesterday, I returned from my trip to Europe. What can I say? It was awesome! Easily one of the best experiences of my life.

I do not regret for a second the amount of money I spent to make this trip possible (and believe me, it was a LOT of $$$). Even though my bank account is now DECIMATED, everything was well worth the price.

In fact, my trip was so wonderful that I could not possibly do it justice in a single blog post… so I’m not even going to try. Therefore I will spend the upcoming days/weeks posting about my many adventures: starting in Ireland, moving right along to Wales, making my way to England (which will probably take at least three blog posts in and of itself), taking a brief stop in Paris, and ending in Scotland.

But I don’t want anyone getting the idea that this mind-blowing, life-changing, mood-altering experience is all chalked up to the cool places I got to see. Sure, it was awesome seeing Big Ben and climbing up the Eiffel Tower. And how could I forget the Irish countryside? Or the coast in Wales? Or the breathtaking hill-top views of Edinburgh in Scotland?

Yes, all of that was great… but it was the small things that made this trip truly memorable.

The inside jokes.

The moments that made me laugh so hard that I doubled up and/or cried.

The friends I felt like I had known for years, even though I had only known them for a few weeks.

The fake engagements.

The unofficial trip theme songs… one of them being this:

And yes, more laughter.

To truly capture the essence of my trip in a series of blog posts is probably a tall order. But I will do my best.

For those of you who don’t like travel blogs, feel free to tune out for a few weeks.

For those of you who are insanely jealous of my experience, feel free to live vicariously through me. I know I will… if it’s even possible to live vicariously through yourself.

So come and take a journey with me–not an actual journey, mind you, because ain’t nobody got time (or money) for that! But instead a virtual journey, a blog journey if you will, one that will give you a glimpse into my life abroad. If you will jump onto my imaginary plane, I will take you across the ocean and help you get an idea of just how much this trip meant to me.

Stay tuned!

The Great Perhaps

The French Renaissance writer Francois Rabelais spoke these famous last words: I go to seek a great perhaps.

What is the Great Perhaps? In my opinion, it refers to the endless opportunities the future brings–the mystery that is tomorrow. The Great Perhaps is something that we all seek, whether we know it or not.

Most people spend a significant amount of time thinking about the future. We all want something great to come out of life. Often the present does not meet our expectations, so we work endlessly to improve our situation, only to realize we have spent so much time looking forward to the future that we forgot to enjoy the present–which, incidentally, has now become the past.

The present only lasts for a brief moment, and by the time we appreciate it for what it is, it usually has already gone, becoming yet another thing of the past. I personally am someone who tends to look forward to (and at the same time fear) the future, complain about the present, and live in the past.

Past events have either been so traumatic or so wonderful that I can’t help but let the past drive my present perspective. I want things to be the same as they were a year ago. I can’t possibly allow myself to become close to anybody because of how much people have hurt me in the past.

As for the present and future, I often find myself thinking, “Everything will get better once I reach a certain point in my life.” I manage to tolerate the present, but I don’t enjoy it until I realize I’m about to lose it. I look forward to change, but when it comes time for the change to come, I find myself having this reaction:

Why do we constantly complain about the present? Why don’t we appreciate anything we have until it’s gone?

This past year has been a bit rough on me. I don’t need to get into any nitty-gritty details, but if I were to rank all the years of my life based on roughness, this past year would definitely be in my top five (luckily, I don’t do anything like that, though if I’m ever in a really negative mood that might be a good idea for a future blog post).

Eventually it reached the point where I just didn’t care anymore. I registered for my study abroad trip and made living arrangements for my final year of college. I felt like if I could just survive winter semester, everything would be just fine. Then when winter semester ended, I found myself thinking that if I could just survive until my study abroad, all my problems would be resolved.

Will all my problems be resolved once I leave the country? Most likely not. In fact, with my trip to the United Kingdom being less than two days away, I find myself facing a whole new list of fears.

If I have learned anything throughout the course of my life, it is that change is not the answer to all of life’s problems. We can’t go through life with the notion that any problem can be fixed if we just change our lives around a little bit. However, change is as necessary as food, water, and shelter–because without change we can never see what else is out there in the world. Without change we can’t really learn and grow.

So I am making big changes in my life–not as a way to escape the present, but because I have to see what else is out there. I have to see where life can take me and which path I need to take. I have to take further steps to solve the great mystery that is my future. In other words, I go to seek the great perhaps.

Plus, whenever I see a picture like this–

Windsor Castle in England

–My immediate reaction is this:

United Kingdom, here I come!

(P.S.–Since I’m all about enjoying the present now, I want to actually enjoy the United Kingdom while I’m there. So don’t expect any more blog updates until after August 5th, which is when I’m coming back to the States. But don’t worry–when I get back, I plan to write about all my European adventures. Stay tuned!)

Facing My Fears at the Happiest Place on Earth

I recently had the opportunity to go to Disneyland with my family for a weekend. This was by no means our first time going to Disneyland. It is one of our favorite family vacation spots, so we usually go there every two years or so.

A lot can be learned about life from a day at Disneyland. The long lines for the best rides remind me that sometimes we have to wait a while before receiving the reward. The spinning teacups remind me that sometimes life makes you want  to throw up. (Sorry for those who like the teacups, but they’re simply not my cup of tea… no pun intended). Space Mountain reminds me that we cannot always see the upcoming twists and turns that life will bring us.

Now, I don’t usually spend my time thinking about what Disneyland teaches us about life. I may be introspective, but even I am not that introspective. However, something happened during this past trip that kind of forced me to think more deeply about Disneyland’s role in my life.

Well, I guess it didn’t actually happen at Disneyland… it happened in a hotel. It was morning, and I was lying on my air mattress (we’re classy) waiting for everyone else to wake up, when all of a sudden, it felt like something was in my left eye. I tried a couple different ways to clear my eye–water, eye drops–but nothing seemed to work. In fact, if anything, my eye just kept feeling worse.

I tried to brave it and went to Disneyland with my family. We rode Tower of Terror a couple of times and then went on the California Screamin’ roller coaster. Both of those rides take pictures of you during the ride, and all my pictures consisted of me either winking or pretending to pray, as I could only open my right eye by this point. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), we did not buy any of these pictures, so you’re just going to have to take my word for it.

Eventually, the pain became too much for me to handle. Basically, this was me:

I was now having a hard time even opening my non-injured eye–for some reason it hurt my left eye just to open my right eye–and my watering left eye was causing my nose to run like a waterfall. After stealing about half the park’s supply of napkins and covering my eyes with sunglasses, I decided I really couldn’t take it anymore. So my mom lead me to the park’s first-aid area… and I mean she literally lead me, as in I had to hold on to her arm because I could no longer see anything.

It turns out the Disney first-aid couldn’t do anything for me, so I ended up having to leave the park and go to urgent care. It took awhile before I got called out of the waiting room, and after that, I ended up waiting an additional 45 minutes or so before the doctor finally came in to see me.

Now, the thing you have to know is that I have this irrational fear of anything to do with eyes. They’re nice to look into and everything, but if anyone gets anything close to my or anyone else’s eye, I freak out. I can’t even watch someone put in contact lenses.

Therefore, when one of the nurses irrigated my eye for five minutes with a syringe, I was uncomfortable. When the doctor came in and put dye in my eye , I was starting to panic a little. But when she started poking at my eye and looking under my eyelids with a metal tool in order to search for a scratch or foreign object, I wanted to die.

What was more, as all of the waiting and eye-poking fun was happening, there was a talk show playing in the room–not just any talk show, but one where a doctor was talking about all the ways you could lose an eye. He even brought up the possibility of an eye rupturing, at which time I was truly starting to panic. I mean, seriously? What kind of sick torture was this?!!

Eventually, it was discovered that I had an eye infection, and I was prescribed a number of drugs and eye drops to ease the pain. Now a couple of weeks have passed, and all is well in eye land.

Still, I can’t help but question the timing of this whole thing. Was it really necessary for me to get an eye infection at Disneyland? Couldn’t it have waited until I was back in Provo, when I had nothing to miss but work? Did there really have to be a show talking about eye loss playing while I was having an eye problem?

I can’t help but feel that the universe is out to get me. Either that, or God really does have a sense of humor, and it can even be kind of twisted sometimes! Either way, I was owned that day.  Well-played.

So I guess Disneyland isn’t always just the happiest place on Earth. Sometimes it can be just plain scary, and I’m not talking about It’s a Small World because the fear associated with that ride really just goes without saying. My point is that I am convinced I somehow got that eye infection from Disneyland. Maybe I should sue!

I’m of course kidding (mostly), but I have to say I was getting pretty upset at missing so much quality Disney time. The good news is that, when all was said and done, I was able to at least go back to Disneyland for a couple of hours after my impromptu trip to the emergency room. Being upset about the time I missed wasn’t going to help anything, so instead I just enjoyed the time I had left.

I think that philosophy can be applied to life as well. Instead of feeling bad about what we’ve missed out on, we should enjoy the opportunities we do have. There’s no point feeling bummed about the past because that just wastes time and keeps us from enjoying the present.

And there will always be other Disneyland trips.

23 Goals While I’m 23

I’m happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.  It’s miserable and magical…

Those are the feelings that, according to Taylor Swift, come with “feeling 22.”

And I must say, I’d have to agree.  That is exactly how 22 felt.

But as of today, I am done feeling 22.

So what does that mean?  Well… nothing, really.  Honestly, how different can 23 be from 22?  On the other hand, a new year marks new beginnings, and since I “forgot” to make new year’s resolutions at the start of 2013, I thought I’d take this opportunity to come up with 23 goals I have while I’m 23.

1. Tell people what I want, and do what I can to get it!  I’m tired of being that passive guy who never lets his opinion be heard because he doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.  Over the years I have had a difficult time getting people to read my mind, so it’s about time I’m more forthright with people in expressing my opinions.  If I don’t like the way you’re treating me, then I’m going to tell you.  This may cause some people to be offended, but as a wise man once said: “Are you offended?  I don’t care.”  I’m not going to let people walk all over me anymore.  And that brings me to my second goal.
2.  Be more direct.  I tend to beat around the bush like no other when I’m trying to express something that might qualify as being even slightly uncomfortable.  But there was one glorious night a couple of years ago when I was able to be direct and to-the-point, and it was awesome.  I would like to be able to do that all the time from now on.
   
3. Enjoy my alone time.  This year, I want to reacquaint with an old friend.  He’s someone I’ve known my whole life, and when he’s at his best, he’s pretty cool.  His name?  Matthew Gilliland.  When I was little, I loved to be alone.  I could entertain myself for hours and hours using just my imagination.  In recent years, however, I have found it more difficult to get along with myself.  But since nobody likes you when you’re 23, I need to learn to like myself better in preparation for turning 24, when people will start liking me again.  (I’m aware that this last paragraph must sound really depressing, but it’s all in good fun, I promise.)
4. Keep up with my blog more.  I have already kind of started this one.  I think I must have already written more blogs in the first two months of this year than I did all last year combined.  And if I had planned things a little bit better, this could have easily been my 23rd post, which would have brought things together quite nicely.  Anyway, I hope to continue my consistent blogging as the year continues, especially considering major upcoming events like my Europe study abroad and my wedding.  OK, I’m not really planning on getting married.  I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
5.  Catch up with old friends.  I want to be better at keeping in contact with my friends, especially my friends from home as well as those from my mission… even if it is just through Facebook.  
6. Go to Europe.  Even if something freaky happens and I end up not continuing with the study abroad program, I am determined to go to Europe this year!  Even if it means losing a ton of money, which makes me anxious just thinking about it.
7. Spend quality time with my family.  Ugh, I wish there was a less cheesy way to say that.  Cue the Full House music, please.  I’m in somewhat of a difficult position to do this right now, seeing as I’m living in Utah and my whole family is currently in Arizona, but I will definitely go back as much as circumstances allow… even if that’s just a couple weeks in the summer and then the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays.  I see my family as one of my most reliable support groups, and I will do anything to maintain that… even if we are actually not so much like the Tanners from Full House but more like the Simpsons: violent and dysfunctional.
8. Give myself to the Lord.  This is kind of broad, but honestly this is as specific as I feel I can get at the moment.  I have tried most of my life to just do things my own way, but after almost 23 years of doing it, I must say that I understand what Taylor Swift means when she says “This is exhausting.”  It’s time to quit trying to drive myself down the highway of life and let Jesus take the wheel!
9. Keep my Taylor Swift blog references to a minimum.  As of this post, I have decided that I have quoted/mentioned Taylor Swift far too often in my blog.  It has to stop.  I think I need serious help… an intervention, maybe.
10. Serve the crap out of everyone.  Not literally, of course… that would be awkward and gross.  But all stupid jokes aside, I really do want to serve more.  Maybe then I can stop focusing so much on my own problems.
11. Exercise… all year this time.  It seems like I’m always good at exercising during the summertime.  But then the winter comes along and my exercising comes to an end.  But since I will be living much closer to my school’s free gym next year, maybe I can actually motivate myself to exercise during all four seasons while I’m 23.
12. Write in my journal at least once a week.  Whether my future kids like it or not, they will be able to read a detailed account of what their dad was like at the age of 23.
13. Use my disappointments to my advantage.  I will not let myself be affected by the disappointments in life.  Instead, I will turn those disappointments into opportunities.  For example, in the not-too-unlikely scenario that I get a C in one of my classes this semester, I will celebrate my first-ever C by having a C-party.  Included will be C-shaped cake and foods that start with a C (chicken, carrots).  And then I will hang a banner that reads: “C’s get degrees!”  Actually, that sounds like too much effort… effort that would probably be better used trying to make sure I don’t get a C in that class.  But you get the idea.
    
14. Work, work, work.  No two-month breaks from work this year.  If I want to survive the financial toll this study abroad trip is going to take on me, I need to work as much as I can (and maybe even take a second job).  Also I need to do an internship or two before I graduate if I want to impress prospective future employers.  If I were to adopt a motto for this year, it would be this: work hard and play hard.
15. Make a bucket list.  This may sound morbid, but for a while I’ve been wanting to make a list of things to do before I die.  After all, I’m not getting any younger!  Literally… I actually just recently aged a whole year.
16. Maintain/improve my Tagalog.  Once upon a time, I lived in the Philippines and spoke Tagalog every day.  Now that I live in America, I rarely speak Tagalog more than once a week.  I am finding that my Tagalog skills are suffering as a result.  So I am going to do everything I can do to use my beloved second language, including speaking, writing, and praying in Tagalog.  I also want to finish reading my Tagalog Book of Mormon.    Ayaw kong makalimutan kasi ang aking pangalawang linguwahe.
17. Go on another camping trip.  My twelve-year-old self would have literally thrown up at such a suggestion, but I actually like camping now as long as it doesn’t last for more than a night or two.  And as long as it’s nice outside.
18. Quit hiding my true self from others.  I once had a companion point out that I was “good at hiding.”  He was not talking about physically hiding, and I think anyone who has played hide and seek with me could attest to that.  What he meant is that I put up a front so convincing that it is difficult for other people to see the real me.  Well, I’m tired of doing that.  I need to start being who I am and not caring how other people react.   If other people don’t like it, they can leave me alone.   I’m done hiding.  After all, I’m getting a bit too old to play hide and seek.  Actually, if I’m being honest with myself, I’d kill for a game of hide and seek right now…
19. Get back into photography.  As I touched on briefly in my last post, I finally have a camera again, which gives me the perfect chance to take some legit pictures… especially when I go to Europe!
20. Go on a road trip with friends.  I fully expect to go on at least one road trip with my family this year because we have already planned one (we’re going to Disneyland!!!  No, seriously.)  But there is just something about taking road trips with friends.  So I feel like I need to go on at least one this year.  Even if it means that one of those friends will inevitably end up married in the near future.  Confused?  Stay tuned for my not-too-distant-future post about how everyone around me tends to get married.
21. Stress management.  I want to be more optimistic this year.  I want to allow just a small part of the day to let myself be stressed, then spend the rest of my time thinking positive thoughts.  I want to not worry so much and allow myself to be happy.  It won’t be easy, but since I would like to actually live another 23 years, I think it will be worth it to better handle the everyday stresses of life.
22. Make mistakes.  This should be easy!  So maybe I should say that I want to become more comfortable making mistakes.  After all, it is trohugh our mstiakes taht we lraen, rghit?
23. Move on.  Last but not least, it is the simplest goal to say and yet the hardest to do.  I feel like I’m still hung up a lot on the past, but I will work this year to move past all that.

And that’s it.  I’m glad I did this, even if it is ridiculously long.  I feel really hopeful about my 23rd year now.  This is going to be the year of Matthew!